One of the joys and great responsibilities of the priesthood is the preparation of young couples for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. At the Oratory the Fathers are blessed to be able to do this on an individual basis, seeing each couple regularly in the months leading up to the big day. The priest’s role is to make sure that all of the ingredients necessary for a valid marriage are present, and to encourage each couple to approach the Sacrament thoughtfully and prayerfully, so that the channels of communication are uncluttered and wide open for God to infuse His grace in abundance into this lifelong union.
Our Lord’s first recorded miracle takes place within the context of a marriage at Cana in Galilee. The transformation of water into wine represents far more than the facilitation of a convivial wedding reception. In his Gospel St John refers to it as a “sign”: God is fulfilling His promise to wed Himself as a divine bridegroom to His people in a new and everlasting covenant. In elevating marriage to the level of a sacrament, Our Lord enables a man and a woman to enter their own lifelong and grace-filled covenant of self-gift which is indissoluble just as His union with His Bride, the Church, is indissoluble.
The Church also attributes a profoundly Eucharistic meaning to this miracle at Cana. Just as it is easy for our Saviour to turn water into wine, so we can take Him at His word when He promises us that He will transform bread and wine into His Body and Blood during the Sacrifice of the Mass, and that He will feed us with Himself when we kneel to receive the Blessed Sacrament in Holy Communion. Of course, the miracle of Cana was a verifiable miracle, because those who observed what was happening could see, taste and smell that what had been water was now wine. In Holy Communion the accidents of bread and wine remain, so that we have to accept in faith that what we are actually receiving is the Body of Our Lord Jesus Christ. We do accept this because Truth Himself has told us “this is my body”.
Every sacrament is a sign of an invisible, supernatural reality. Every sacrament, instituted by Our Lord Himself, actually brings about the invisible supernatural reality it signifies. The water of Baptism represents washing and new life. Descending into the waters of Baptism we are buried with Christ in His tomb, dying to the old Adam of sin within us, rising out of the water to new life in the Resurrection – so that there is all the difference in the world between a baptised baby and a baby that has not yet been baptised. Each is created and loved by God, but one is a living Temple of the Holy Ghost, full of Sanctifying Grace.
Our Lord has also elevated marriage to a Sacrament of His New Covenant. In the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony there is another transformation. When a couple exchange their vows, they become one flesh before God, and this indissoluble union which joins them together until separated by death is sealed definitively the moment the marriage is consummated. This is why a validly confected marriage can never be dissolved. A real transformation has occurred, and this is irreversible, just as the seal of Baptism is indelible. It is not God’s intention in marriage merely to join the couple together with superglue and then to launch them on their own into the world. While the bride and groom confer their vows of faithfulness on each other, God promises to be a living presence in this marriage sustaining them, answering their prayers, sanctifying them, picking them up and binding their wounds if and when they fall.
If a young couple preparing for this great sacrament is serious about making it work, then both parties are going to have to set their faces against the prevailing culture. The sexual revolution has been hugely detrimental to the family and society. The notion that cohabitation before marriage is normal, desirable and even inevitable, has been disastrous on many levels. First of all, mortal sin brings spiritual death, so that until and unless we repent, then nothing we do can contribute to our salvation. Secondly, if a couple have already been living as if they are one flesh, then how are they ever going to appreciate the wondrous reality of what is really happening when they do eventually exchange their vows? The marriage ceremony becomes a rubber stamp, ratifying a living arrangement which has already become longstanding. All of this is catastrophic as far as benefitting from sacramental grace is concerned.
Thankfully, there are many young couples nowadays who do want to prepare properly for marriage, and who haven’t been taken in by the insipid defeatism of the boomer generation. They are fascinated by and attracted to the proposal of living chastely with God’s help, and preparing for their marriage in line with the perennial wisdom of traditional Catholic teaching. They are eager to keep all of the channels of communication with God open and unobstructed so that He is able to infuse His divine life into their hearts, their marriages and their families in abundance. This all bodes well. We should give thanks for them, and pray for all couples who are preparing to embrace the lifelong adventure of love and faithfulness in marriage this year.
Father Julian Large